Xmas Gifts For Republicans

The Republican Party may have gotten its collective feelings hurt from the election, so we should take care this holiday season to give them distinctive and personally relevant Xmas gifts.

★ G.O.P. Party Mix: a colorful mix of OxyContin, meth & Viagra in a large brandy snifter

★ A personal paper shredder, useful at home and in the office

★ A book on international extradition law

★ "I'm really a Democrat" bumper sticker

★ The book "Federal Prison On $50 A Day"

★ A drug/alcohol rehab media kit

★ Audio tape of "A Book of 1000 Excuses"

★ PhotoShop graphic (8" by 10") of the giftee shaking hands with Bono, and another with an arm around Al Gore

★ T-shirt set: on the front of each is either the Enron or Halliburton logo or the Iraq flag or the G.O.P. elephant, and on the back of each it says "I'm with stupid"

★ The book "Oversight For Dummies"