COMING-OF-AGE RITUALS for age twelve-ish

Laying down for a nap does not always produce sleep. Many times I am left to ponder or relive memories, to speak them to myself, like a story or as practice to regale others. Here are two such:

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Both of my parents disliked their middle names, so they made a decision before I showed up as first-born not to give each child a middle name at birth. The plan was that as a sort of coming-of-age ritual, each child would get to choose their middle name at age twelve and then it would be officially added. So I chose my father's name, and next time we went 'Up Home' to visit relatives, the family went to the Alameda County Clerk's office, and it was done. (I don't remember any detail of this, just that it got done.)

My next sibling chose the name of his grandfather and favorite uncle, and my next brother chose grandma's maiden name; whatever my much younger sister Melissa chose, she doesn't use it.

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The other such ritual had to do with each child taking our pastor to dinner, also around age twelve. (For anyone not connected to a specific church, the guest person could be a pastor from some local church, a school teacher, the mayor, the librarian - the key thing is not the identity of the guest but the requirement for the child to experience this new adult behavior.)

So I had to make the invitation by phone or in person, agree on a time and date, and be ready on time (wearing a Sunday suit, of course). I was given sufficient cash, the pastor - old enough to drive - picked me up at the house, and we drove off. Here again, much of the detail is missing from my memory, but it would have been a step or two up from Sizzler, maybe Petrelli's Steakhouse on Sepulveda or Bruno's Italian on Centinela. So we ate and talked, not necessarily around religion, just two guys having dinner and conversation, truly a new experience for my 12-year-old self. I paid the bill and added a tip and the pastor drove me home, and my parents asked a few questions (like "How'd it go?") and I probably gave them the change, and life returned to normal.

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Every family has their traditions and my partly independent parents made up several on their own. We also had some that went back generations, but that's enough for now.

Copyright 2022 by G.E. Nordell, all rights reserved